It Takes a Village To Raise a Child

Raffi has it right.  "It takes a village, no one can do it alone, it takes a village to raise a child". 

After a long-distance telephone call with a tearful, stressed out single mom of two, I feel inspired to reach out my arms to my own "village".  "Single Mama" was telling me about the challenges of working full time and raising two children on her own.  No one is there to leave the kids with while she runs up town to do an errand, goes to the gym, or has some time-out.  It's hard to take care of the business end of life when all the utility companies and so on are on the same 9-5 hours as her own work schedule.  And although she lives near family and friends, no one volunteers to take her kids for an afternoon just to give her some breathing space.  If she asked in an emergency situation, she knows that they would be there for her.  But asking when there isn't an emergency can be hard because it demonstrates need or inability rather than self-sufficiency. 

Well, after thinking about it for a while, I realized that I don't often offer to take any one of my friends' kids for a few hours.  I just don't think of it.  I get busy with my own life, and have plans made for every day.  I don't take the time to think that maybe there are other women out there who could use a helping hand, a little break from the ever-present demands of raising children. 

In this day and age, in our society, we are very lucky to have as much as we do.  The average citizen 100 years ago had far less than the average citizen today.  I do appreciate it.  But I sometimes wonder if there are things that have been lost during the development of today's lifestyle.  Most people live in their own little world, inside their big houses or apartments and hardly even know their neighbours.  Certainly, we aren't going to allow our children to run over to the neighbour's house to spend the day with their children.  We don't  know them well enough to trust them.  There is a loss of community in our private lives.  

When I was growing up in a small town, I think there was more sense of community.  I regularly rode my bike across town to visit friends, I walked to school a fair distance, and I played with other kids until my mom blew the whistle for us to come home.  Now, parents usually drive their kids to play dates and to school.  There aren't so many places anymore where you could blow a whistle and have your kids come running home from neighbouring properties.  Things have changed. 

Obviously the solution isn't to allow our children to run wild and go wherever they please.  But there are other ways that we could rekindle that sense of community.  We can, instead of waiting to be asked in an emergency, offer to take our friends' children for a few hours.  We can consider single moms who are trying so hard to make a living and raise their children entirely on their own.  We can call up new moms and invite ourselves over to clean the bathroom.  We can show up on injured or sick friends' doorsteps with fresh baking or a helping hand.  It might not always work out, but to show others that you care and that there IS someone around who can help out, could be just the thing to make a difficult situation a lot better. 

After all, it takes a village to raise a child. 


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